Thursday, September 8, 2011

Giving The Cold Shoulder.....or Cold Vagina

I’ve had this slam piece for about 4 years. I don’t do LTR’s (long term relationships) but I do love long term slam pieces. He was always an adventurous and spontaneous one, not saying that I’m complaining about that because I’m all for some kinky things. But sometimes, you need to give a girl a little warning before you just throw something at her…. Or in her.

Typical Wednesday afternoon, I’m at the mall with my best friend shopping, gossiping, girl stuff ect. I get a text from Kevin, (names are changed for confidentially… and my own safety) saying “lets chill.” It’s never a “hey whats up!” or “hey what are you doing!?” it’s always something simple and to the point… “let’s chill” is code for “lets fuck.” So obviously I leave the mall and arrive at Kevins 15 minutes later. Things are going there usual route, a little this, a little that, little oral, little manual. He then promptly gets out of bed and says I’ll be right back. After returning a few minutes later I feel something cold…… In my vagina. I don’t even know what to say or what to think so I obviously I just go with the flow. There was no warning, no “hey wanna try this!?” I would of even been okay with him saying something cheesy like “things were getting to hot we have to cool down.” No. Just boom. Ice in the vagina. Now, I’m a firm believer in expanding my sex life and trying new things, and I’m sure ice could be incorporated into ones sex life properly, whether it’s rubbing on the body or even rubbing on the erogenous zones. Maybe even just one ice cube in the vagina I could deal with. But there was honestly enough ice to keep a 6 pack cold. It was painful…. So painful. Think about it, something cold, hard, and square shaped being shoved into your body. It was not a fun experience. Shoving ice into a girls vagina without even asking permission is just plain rude. Clearly before I was even dressed I texted Laxtitute #2 telling her ice was currently melting out of me she didn’t understand so it was then followed up by a call explaining that my vagina was currently the temperature of Antarctica.

So I guess the point of the story brings me to one question…. What is the appropriate way to go about using ice in your sex life?

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